In my short 31 years I have to say I've accomplished a task or 2 and there are quiet a few I have just never finished. For instance, the vintage mosaic table I started in 2006 or the the laundry from Tuesday. I'll take this moment to blame my ADD. I never was really extremely hyper, so I guess it got overlooked, but the overwhelming feeling I get when things are out of order is just plain nerve racking and I'd rather curl up in a ball and pout instead of facing the problem head on.
That was until I learned to deal with it. Once I realized I was ADD and finally stayed on task long enough to discuss it with my doctor things began changing for me. I was able to set and KEEP goals which enabled me to follow through and accomplish tasks.
It's hard to believe looking back I really didn't know what in my life I enjoyed. I was always stressed out about why, how, or if I was going to be able to finish something. I seriously could not enjoy life. I came across, and who knows I might still do, as annoyed, depressed and LAZY. This really affected me emotionally, as I have always cared what others thought about how I kept my home.
I come off as very laid back, and yes most of the time I am, but on the inside no one really knew the battle I was fighting with myself.
Everyday I would walk into a room with scattered toys and unfolded laundry and have a sudden rise of heart rate, blood pumping and on occasion ringing in my ears. It was an overwhelming feeling. How did I deal with it? I went to my room and most of the time I went to bed.
You can only imagine the stress this put on me, my family and my marriage.
Comments from family and friends didn't help my situation either. I got to a point where I had no self esteem, no confidence in myself, and questioned myself daily on my role as a mother and wife.
I look back and think of all the things I am. I am a beauty school drop out...3 times, I almost didn't graduate high school, I have no college degree or formal education or training in any field.
I'm getting closer to 32 now, and yeah there's a lot I have not accomplished or finished, but having ADD has also given me an edge others don't have. I've learned to embrace it. I'm usually quick witted, and a great muli-tasker.
I've accomplished more in the past 2 years than I would have ever dreamed. I've got 4 beautiful children with sweet spirits that I get to enjoy this life with and I have a pretty awesome chicken loving husband too.
This is totally not the post I was going for, nor do I remember what my original plans or thoughts were, but I do believe this will do.
Thanks for visiting and embrace what makes you different.
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