Let me back up a few steps and explain. I brought Miss Kay out to do her business before we went to bed and I plopped myself down in a lawn chair to enjoy my walnut and chocolate chip cookies when all of a sudden I hear it. At first thought I was thinking it was one of the guineas, but no this was coming from the pasture and they nest in the tree above the chicken coop. Sp my mind was left to speculate as it often does. Was it a chirp, a squawk, a gobble? Heck no! It was a squeal!
I wasn't quiet sure I'd heard right. Living on over 85 acres surrounded by a multitude of different livestock, a train i can spit at, and crazy neighbors including family I was for once at a loss. I knew it wasn't a cow, a horse and it defiantly wasn't a bird I've heard. The neighbors dogs started going crazy barking and yelping and the squeal started up again. I became aware those dogs had something cornered up.
My next move was to grab Miss Kay, I mean the chickens can defend themselves for all I care, but whatever it was squealing better not come close to my dog.
So I hobbled as fast as my uneven legs could take me to our bedroom door that opens from the front porch and gasping for breath I yelled, "David! David! You're gonna wanna get your gun!"
Let me insert this here, my husband doesn't really need a good excuse to get his gun. He's from California and has lived here for only 11 years so he has lots of catching up to do on being a country boy and over compensates. Hence his nickname my mom branded him with, Elmer Fudd. He was so excited last week to receive an application in the mail for the NRA. (Insert eye roll)
David, jumped up faster than he would move if I was to tell him the house was burning and slipped on his dress shoes and went outside in his undies. Yes, I said undies. So let me just get this picture burned into your minds for ya. Husband, undies, dress shoes, big gun, green light. Attractive right? Straight out of a scene of National Lampoon's featuring cousin Eddie? Yeah, I think so. (From what I understand, the green light mounted to the rifle he was toting is a light you can use at night and whatever your tracking cannot see it.)
So we get outside and he asks what I heard and I tell him what happened.
"We'll, honey...sounds like we might have a hog situation. "
A hog situation? This is shocking to me. Devastating actually. Yes we have a terrible hog problem in East Texas, but we have never had a problem on our family's land and the fact that one may have tried to come over railroad tracks is just scary!
So David sets off with Castle, our bird dog, rifle in hand tracking a big boar. I'm not really sure where they go during this time. Miss Kay and I come in the house and I do what I do best. Relax and surf the net.
About 10-15 minutes later the door swings wide open and in comes my husband with a look of bewilderment on his face.
"Honey it was a hog, and that damn thang was trying to root into my chicken coop, but that hot wire stopped him."
There's no credit given to the dogs that obviously were barking like crazy and chased him off and then my thoughts lingered towards his attire. Seriously who wouldn't be scared of a middle aged man out at midnight toting a gun in dress shoes and his underwear? Oh my gosh, I haven't even thought about what the neighbors may think!
One thing is for sure, my chicken hoarding husband will be setting up camp this weekend to trap a hog. My only request for him is that he put on some appropriate attire.
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